Do you find yourself struggling to say no whether in your personal life or in business?
It can be challenging for anyone who falls into the category of people pleaser and as a result it can be really tough to say no instead defaulting to YES to everyone and everything.
In business, this can often be expressed through feeling like you need to overwork or overdeliver, whether adding additional services to your offering that haven’t been priced in, taking on extra clients when you know you’re at capacity or feeling the need to attend every Christmas/networking function that’s held leading up to Christmas. Yes, the silly season is upon us!
Setting healthy boundaries is all about focussing on selfcare vs being selfish. It’s identifying what’s going to serve you, so that you can show up as the best version of yourself. A great analogy is putting your face mask on first so you can then support others.
It’s also acknowledging that every time you say YES, you end up saying NO to something you love.
VALUING YOUR TIME
Get clear on your expectations and assumptions of others and how they should act towards you. Are you assuming they know how busy you are, how your health is or the way you operate? There are two parties in the dance of boundaries – you and the other party. Be clear and assume they don’t know any of the above.
To assist, build in terms and conditions around clients being late or not turning up to appointments, along with when you are and aren’t available into your agreements and contracts. Remember, your time is valuable and not everyone has the same idea of what is and isn’t acceptable. You need to guide clients by being clear in your communication. Saying NO to protect your time is more than ok.
VALUING YOUR EXPERIENCE AND KNOWLEDGE
Do you find your clients wanting more? More time? More help? For free? Don’t be afraid to charge. If you have a client that needs to check in regularly, consider charging a fee for each call or offer for them to move to a monthly retainer in which they get a set number of calls each month. Also, consider if they’re your ideal client – are you wanting high touch clients? If that’s what you’re attracting you may need to increase your program offering and pricing.
If you find you’re offering a particular add-on service regularly, consider recording to save time and consider charging for this. If clients don’t take it up, that’s ok just focus your energy towards others that are prepared to value your expertise and knowledge.
prioritising EVENTS
How much time and money are you wanting to commit to events within your business? With all the Christmas functions in December it can often lead to FOMO (fear of missing out), which not only has an impact on your time, it can have a significant impact on your hip pocket for both cost to attend and being away from your business.
Before committing, review the events and ask yourself which events are going to serve you the most? If you’re verbally asked to attend an event, let the individual know that you’ll consider it and get back to them. That way if you struggle to say no it gives you an out.
PERSONAL BOUNDARIES
Set time in your calendar to focus on self care or important tasks. This might include time to work on your business vs in your business, exercise, dance, practice meditation, take a walk in nature or simply take time out to rest and relax.
A Zen proverb I really resonate with is, “If you don’t have time to meditate for an hour everyday, you should meditate for two hours’. Now I’m not saying you have to meditate or even meditate for an hour, the focus is if you don’t have time for self care, then that’s usually a sign it needs to be at the top of the list. When you prioritize time for selfcare you’ll be rewarded with a clearer mind and increased energy so you can focus on the task at hand. Where necessary, let colleagues know that this time is a non-negotiable.
Boundaries are moving parts, what might be a boundary today may change in the future due to a change in circumstances and that’s ok.
If someone keeps disrespecting your boundaries, there is likely a deeper issue. Check in to see if they might have misunderstood the boundary you were setting or are they simply disrespecting it?
I talk often about boundaries in the Money Mindset Reprogram and the underlying beliefs around why you struggle to set boundaries.
Working with a financial coach can help you to gain clarity around creating money and managing money. If you would like to explore this further, please book in for a free 15 minute chat.